Printed March 27, 2026 03:00AM
A volcano simply erupted beneath Antarctica. Tremors reverberate beneath Earth’s terrain miles from the blast, prompting an enormous tsunami to bury most main cities (and international locations!) underwater. Darkish ash fills the sky. Folks frantically name their family members simply earlier than telephones change into ineffective, and most can’t discover an apocalypse-proof shelter in time. Those that do, refill on the necessities like bottled water and what turns into one survivor’s holy grail: Bush’s Vegetarian Baked Beans.
This catastrophe is the primary thread of Hulu’s hit present Paradise, and that fortunate survivor is med pupil Annie Clay, performed by Shailene Woodley. She hunkers down in Elvis Presley’s mansion, Graceland, and does her finest to fill her time studying by candlelight and consuming plenty of beans.
Forty-five days go. Then 689.
I can often droop actuality for the sake of being entertained, but it surely’s happening two years and, all issues thought of, she’s nonetheless in first rate form. That’s suspicious.
Two questions come to thoughts whereas watching: How lengthy might somebody realistically survive on beans? And what would occur to your physique on a bean-only eating regimen? I interviewed a survival skilled, a physician, and some nutritionists to seek out out.
The Good and Unhealthy of Beans
“You may survive on them as your solely protein supply,” says Cal Coblentz, a former survival, evasion, resistance, and escape specialist in america Air Drive. Their nutrient roster additionally contains fiber, iron, folate, and magnesium, says Dr. Vikram Tarugu, a board-certified gastroenterologist based mostly in Okeechobee, Florida.
One other main profit is that “changing animal protein with plant protein has been linked to improved longevity,” says Avery Zenker, a registered dietitian, a bonus that may significantly come in useful throughout an end-of-the-world scenario.
However canned beans lack one very crucial element: vitamin C, a nutrient that helps skin, bone, and tissue grow, and absorbs iron so you may make pink blood cells. It even helps wounds and burns heal—one other skill that may be very nice to have if the world ends.
What Would Occur to Your Physique If You Simply Ate Beans?
TL;DR: Life wouldn’t be nice.
After the First Couple of Days
“You’ll most likely expertise modifications in digestion straight away on the primary day or two,” says Zenker. As you’re seemingly conscious, if you happen to’ve been to any cookout ever, simply even one aspect of beans is sufficient to make you gassy and remorse consuming them, due to their fiber content material. However your poops, at the least, shall be clean crusing, she says. General, this section is fairly manageable.
After 1 Week
You’re most likely uninterested in beans now, and a scarcity of different meals will go away your style buds yearning for one thing new, says Zenker. Consuming simply beans, based on Tarugu, can be certain to place a dent in your temper. (Understanding that you just’re in full isolation wouldn’t make you’re feeling good both, although.)
These simple bowel actions at the moment are turning into what licensed integrative medical nutritionist Meg Bowman calls “catastrophe pants,” aka diarrhea.
Between 1 and 6 Months
As a result of beans are filling, it’ll be robust to eat sufficient energy, so sluggishness is sort of assured at this stage, says Zenker.
The excellent news: your intestine is now used to being bombarded with beans, so your bowel actions will seemingly return to regular, says Bowman. The explanation? “Your intestine micro organism are populating and shifting and increasing to maintain up with all this new fiber you’re consuming,” says Ashley Kitchens, a plant-based registered dietitian.
That 45-day mark is now trying fairly believable. My confidence was additional bolstered when Zenker knowledgeable me about Beau Miles, an journey filmmaker recognized for documenting his self-experiments, who, again in 2020, when a wholly completely different catastrophe descended upon us, ate only beans for 40 days (191 cans to be precise)—and lived to inform the story.
However right here’s some dangerous information: the absence of vitamin C is now an issue. With out a enough quantity of it, based on Coblentz, you’ll get sick in about one month and get scurvy a couple of months later. “I’m not a nutritionist, however I do know scurvy may be very, very lethal.” He’s proper.
Scurvy is a illness brought on by an excessive lack of vitamin C. Early symptoms embrace fatigue and joint ache. If you happen to go too lengthy with out vitamin C, your gums might get spongy and bleed (your tooth would possibly even fall out), you’ll bruise simply, and it’s possible you’ll develop anemia, a blood dysfunction marked by a low red blood cell count.
For the body to function optimally, males want about 90 milligrams per day, and ladies ought to get at the least 75. In a traditional world, you possibly can get sufficient by consuming vegetables and fruit or downing a glass of OJ. Annie was rising some sort of purple flower when the solar got here again, however that’s…not sufficient. Even when it was, if radiation received to it, she’d wish to avoid it anyway, says Coblentz.
Between 1 and a pair of Years
That is the place Paradise needs you to depend on your creativeness. “We as people traditionally have survived on restricted diets time and time once more, however ‘surviving’ and ‘thriving’ are very various things,” says Kitchens. I agree together with her.
Not solely is a bean eating regimen not sustainable for this lengthy, Tarugu says, “dwelling effectively with out main deficiencies for nearly two years on beans alone is unrealistic with out shut medical oversight.”
However contemplating Annie was on her approach to changing into a physician, out of anybody, she’d most likely have the very best probability of survival in any scenario.
The season 2 finale of Paradise comes out on Monday, March 30, at midnight Japanese time. Will you be watching? Tell us within the feedback.
